Jabroni Journal: Extreme Rules Predictions

June 1, 2017

With the Smackdown Live and Raw brand split, it seems like every time you blink there’s another big “Pay Per View”/ special event that pops up. This coming Sunday night we have the Raw brand exclusive event “Extreme Rules.” This was supposed to be Braun Strowman’s shining moment. He brutalized Roman Reigns on several occasions, which I can only imagine was leading up to a big street fight between the two. Unfortunately, just a few weeks back it was announced that Braun had suffered a pretty serious elbow injury and would be out of action for several months. This appeared to effectively blow up all the plans, forcing Raw General Manager Kurt Angle to sign a Fatal Five Way match between some pretty top name talent to decide who would face Universal Champion Brock Lesnar at the first ever “Great Balls Of Fire” event. (Yes, that’s a real name for a WWE event…………)
And it all comes down to this Sunday. So here are my predictions for Extreme Rules. 

Rich Swann and Sasha Banks vs. Noam Dar and Alicia Fox
It’s a sad fact that as talented as the cruiserweight wrestlers are, 205 Live is not a major success for the WWE right now. Hell, Dave Meltzer from the Wrestling Observer reported that last week, 205 Live didn’t even make it into the Top 20 most watched shows on the WWE Network. They were edged out by a WCW pay per view from damn near 20 years ago “Halloween Havoc 1998.” So yeah, as much as the Cruiserweight Classic tournament from last summer got diehard fans like me excited for the division, that energy quickly fizzled out, leaving the extremely hard working wrestlers to try and entertain a crowd that seems to be sitting on their hands every week. Why does all of this matter? I think adding the brewing Sasha Banks / Alicia Fox rivalry to the Noam Dar and Rich Swann deal is a way to get more eyes on the match. I’m expecting this to be a pretty fun match – all four wrestlers are highly talented and this past week when Sasha and Swann were together in the ring it just looked like they were having a great time. In the end, though, I fully anticipate the Sasha / Swann Express to be dancing their way to victory. 
Winners: Rich Swann and Sasha Banks 

Dean Ambrose (Intercontinental Champion) vs. The Miz 
Stipulation: Ambrose can lose the title due to disqualification
Isn’t it a little backwards that on an event that is touted as “extreme” and “hardcore”, there’s a match where the title can change hands on a DQ? Hmmmm. That being said, I would love Miz to come out of this with the belt and I fully expect him to. Maybe The Miz and Maryse will push him to the point where he will resort to his “lunatic” ways and use some sort of weapon to get the upper hand – thus forcing him to lose the belt due to disqualification. I don’t know, something like that. All I know is that Miz is walking out as IC Champ, as he should.  He makes a perfect villain champion. 
Winner: The Miz (New Intercontinental Champion)

Neville (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Austin Aries 
Submission Match
Neville has been dominating the heated rivalry, winning each of their key matches so far. I don’t foresee this being any different. I love what Aries brings to the table, but Neville really is the “King of the Cruiserweights.”
Winner: Neville (still Cruiserweight Champion) 

The Hardy Boyz (Raw Tag Team Champions) vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
Steel Cage Match 
As much as I would dig seeing the dastardly team of Sheamus and Cesaro scratch and claw their way to winning back the titles, I can’t see them beating the Hardy Boyz ….YET. I see this feud extending for a month or so with C&S winning in the end and earning back the belts ….the results of which could very well be the Hardy Boyz becoming BROKEN……
Winners: The Hardy Boyz (still Raw Tag Team Champions)

Alexa Bliss (Raw Women’s Champion) vs. Bayley 
Kendo-Stick-On-A-Pole Match

Is this the first women’s kendo stick on a pole match ever? Well, it sure is the only one I can recall. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ve seen dudes involved in a match like this. I would be happy to see Bayley win back the title, but I have a feeling we are going to see Little Miss Bliss serve a pretty brutal ass whoopin’ to her by way of the kendo stick. Bliss will retain the title after the beat down, giving Bayley even more sympathy, and building up anticipation for a big return grudge match between the two. 

Winner: Alexa Bliss (still Raw Women's Champion)

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe vs. Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
Fatal Five Way Extreme Rules Match – Winner Becomes #1 Contender for Universal Title

This match is going to be gnarly! All five of these guys are top level wrestlers who could very well walk out with the title. To me, though, there are only two men I predict to win – Samoa Joe or Finn Balor. I would be seriously stoked for either of these dudes to win, as they would both put on killer matches with Brock at Great Balls Of Fire. So maybe it’s cheating, but I’m going to whittle it down to 2 possibilities – Joe or Finn. 
Winners: Joe or Finn