Can't Spell Flu Without F!

January 3, 2018

Hola Bitcholas,

Not gonna lie; I feel like f**king sh*!. Got whatever cold/ flu/ pandemic is making the rounds. I've felt worse, for sure, but it still sucks. It's garden variety stuff; sore throat, stuffy nose, head full of boogers and achy joints. Nothing special.

I've done most of what I'm willing to do; gargled salt water, guzzled whiskey (for real), took some powdery sh*t a co-worker gave me and I MIGHT feel better? I dunno. Either way, being sick sucks balls.

The important thing, the strategic thing I have to do is prevent my kids from getting sick. Before you think I'm concerned with their general health, let me be clear that this is all about me.  

If you have kids, you know how much of a pain in the ass it is when they get sick. If you don't have kids, consider yourself warned.

Think about those action flicks or old cowboy movies where a guy gets shot, knows he's gonna die but stays strong and says some macho sh*t like, "Go on without me. Kick ass." Yeah, kids aren't like that. They're the opposite of that. 

And they don't manage their rivers of snot very well either. As adults, we've found a way of being sick but avoiding looking like something dredged up from the bottom a toxic pond. Kids fail at this. In fact, they wear their snot and sweat and stink like a badge of ill-health honor. They're gross, man. 

So me being sick is all about trying to keep the illness from the kids so I don't have to deal with sticky people. 

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!