Cat Man? Do It.

November 13, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

G'day, bitches. Today might not seem terribly exciting to you and I'm not gonna tell you anything to change that...BUT, I do feel compelled to share the fact that today is my daughter's 7th birthday. See, you don't care...and why would you...but I do.  She's the kid who created parent-dom for me. 

So, here's the thing; she wants a black cat. She has been hassling me for a black cat for about the last 2 years. For the most part I've been able to deflect her requests, but I always maintained that if she's "good" and does what she's asked to do (blah-blah-parental-blah) I'd consider it. To my surprise, she's actually been good and has done as asked. 

You need to understand that being "good" is relative to the person you're addressing. For example, asking me or Miles or Ted to "behave" requires a different level of expectation than asking Mike or Robin the same thing. My daughter is more akin to me and Miles and Ted, where being "good", quite honestly, just means 'don't be bad'. We're never asked to be exemplary, just not raging idiots. 

My daughter has that in common with us. Put it this way, I'm convinced that if 'Ocean's 11' were a real thing, my daughter would be one of the 11 criminals people selected to make a successful heist. I don't know what her set of skills would be, but she seems to be working toward something on the outskirts of legality. 

And that is why I love her...her criminal proclivities!  

Anyway, wish me luck with this f**king cat.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!