The Corn Was Far From Mellow

July 23, 2019

Hola Bitcholas,

Today, Miles and arrived at work via the struggle bus. It is our own doing, but look, the way we see it, booze don't drink itself. So we did.

Among other ill-advised libations, Miles introduced me to Mellow Corn. It's a Kentucky 'bourbon' that Miles brought up on the show a few weeks. None of us had heard of it but Miles assured us that in spite of it's name, it's 'pretty good'. It's not.

Mellow Corn is not the worst thing I've ever drank, but it is FAR from the best. Put it this way, the only reason a bar carries this is because they're cool with your drinking problems. Sure, all bars offer booze but Mellow Corn is that kind of booze where you think to yourself, 'have I made good life choices?' If you're gettin' down with Mellow Corn then the answer to that is a healthy 'no'.

I'm not suggesting that the Mellow Corn alone is responsible for our collective malaise, but it didn't f**king help.  

As much as I'd like to go home and sleep, I'm off to the Mariners' game with the kids. They have no idea how toxic 'daddy' is on the inside.

OK, I'm outta here.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!


And your Premium tickets to next week's Pain in the Grass? We got em for you!