Kick Those Cold Feet Out of Here

November 28, 2018

Hola Bitcholas,

I've been sleeping like sh*t the last few days and have no idea why. But that's not the problem. The problem is that after I finally settle into a slumber, it's only a few hours later that my daughter finds her way into my bed (not a Goddamn thing wrong with HER bed, but...) and puts her cold feet on my legs. This happens every morning around 5 am.   

I am not a morning person. I also don't enjoy the feel of ice-cold feet on my otherwise warm legs. I've tried to explain this to her but my daughter has this strange disability. See, when you explain something to her that she doesn't appreciate or agree with, she seems to suddenly have no fundamental understanding of the English language.

The real issue here is that she is a female version of me. I've always heard that I'm a pain in the ass or have a lack respect for authority and all that other crap. And, for the most part, everyone is right. Sorta. It's not I don't 'respect' authority and all that stuff, I just genuinely do not care. And I have passed this down to my daughter.  

Overwhelmingly, I'm OK with her general rebel, but the cold feet need to stop! They're f**king frigid.  

OK, I'm done.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!

And don't wait to get your tickets to THIS FRIDAY'S MENS ROOM BLACK PARTY! We'll drink with you there!