Learn Where Fairies Create Glitter!

December 8, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

There's a part of me that takes pride in my diligence of taking notes each and every day during the show. While there may be no aural evidence, we DO try to improve each day and tend to be pretty critical of ourselves and our performance. Anyone in this line of work, nay, ANY line of work should be the same.

That said, my notes don't always have ADDITIONAL notes to explain to me exactly what the f**k I was talking about in the first place. Here's a small smattering of some of the random notes I came across last night:

"Fairies create glitter in their 'gliterous'." Not sure how it came up but it makes me laugh. That's a keeper.

"Pooping People Eater"...maybe someone messed up saying 'purple' people eater. I really don't know...but there it was, in my notes.


"The Mushy Knuckle" I'm kind of terrified to know what this one was about. It sounds terrible no matter the circumstance.

"Rawhide Montgomery"...just assume it's some cowboy-alter-ego of Miles. Maybe?

"Ricky the Chicken."

"Never agree to be blindfolded around Juggalos"...absolutely no clue why that declaration was made, but it seems logical enough.

"The llamas of Oklahoma"...are there llamas in Oklahoma?

"Never use a selfie-stick unless the only alternative is a fat-fingered Russian." Again, I have no idea of the context of this or why it even came up, BUT, the more I read it, the more it seems like sound advice...if only because "fat-fingered Russian" sounds like something you should ALWAYS pick last".

Johnny Moist-Pocket and the Chunky Flaps"...worst band name ever? Kind of a rhetorical question because that IS the worst name for a band, but I don't know if that's why we brought it up or not. 

"Soul Custody"...our name for "Different Strokes" or any other show where white people adopt black kids. Has a black family ever adopted a white kid? Other than the movie "The Jerk"?

"Fred the Vagina"...absolutely no idea where this came from but I'm assuming it's a character of some kind?  Buy why would the vagina be a dude? Would you name your penis 'Wanda'? 

"Them's fightin' nipples!"...I have no answer for this. But I wrote it down anyway because, seemingly, 'fighting nipples' are of some importance to me. 

These are a few of the notes I read from the last few years.

Among the nonsense, I actually had a few PERTINENT notes as well...but fewer of those.  

The weekend is upon us and I'm ready to get it started with (another) shot and a beer.

Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!