Makin' a List, Check That It's Nice

October 31, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

Today we asked "What was your crime and what was the punishment?" The inspiration for today's question comes courtesy of Hawaii. Specifically, a judge there ordered a man to write 144 nice things about his ex-girlfriend. See, she'd gotten a restraining order against him but he sent her "144 nasty texts" anyway, so the judge ordered him to write a nice thing about her for each "nasty" text.  

I don't know about you, but I couldn't write 144 nice things about anyone...and not (only) because I'm an assh*le, but because no one has 144 separate 'nice' qualities. Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Mr. friggin' one is THAT nice. Even if they ARE that nice, it would be very difficult to come up with "nice" things to say about someone who is your ex AND got you arrested.  

With that in mind, we wondered if it would be OK to include things like, 'she has wonderful decorating tastes' or 'she has a great ass', 'she does incredible things with her tongue', etc. We just couldn't figure out what the hell else you could say about someone without going down that road. In fact, try to write as many nice things about the person you love most and see how close you get to 144. I'm saying there's no chance.

Those are my thoughts today.  

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!