Uncomfortable Eye Contact with Your Coffee

January 16, 2019

Hola Bitcholas,

​Went to Starbuck's earlier today for a big ol' frosty mug of fart-juice. Fart-Juice is what we, affectionately, call the 'venti' caramel frappucino. It's delicious because it's made from sugar and fat.  

Side note: I always tell them my name is 'Agamimnon'...mostly because they'll always politely ask, "how do you spell that", and I answer, "I don't". Brings me pleasure. It really is the little things. Ah, but they know me as "Aggie" now and things always work smoothly.  

As I was saying, I was waiting for my frosty mug of fart-juice while and O L D lady waited for whatever the hell she bought to drink. In the meantime, she was taking little bites of some sweet treat she bought herself. No big deal, but the precise moment she was slowly pulling her finger out of her mouth. It looked very much like the Crypt Keeper trying to seduce me...which is a terrible look. She was NOT trying to seduce me, but it was a horribly awkward moment for both of us.

It's akin to making eye contact with another guy at the instant he has a banana in his mouth. It is what it is but it's still weird.  

Yea, that's what I remember from today.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!


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