Welcome to the Squirrel Zoo!

October 15, 2018

Hola Bitcholas,

As happens from time to time, a question pops into my mind and I am forever distracted by it. And like most questions that contaminate my thinking space, I COULD just Google it...but that wouldn't contribute to the healthy dose of mania to which I've grown accustomed.  

For reasons not worth going into, we were talking about animals in Africa. To be fair, our 'knowledge' is gleaned from the occasional viewing of 'nature' shows and visits to the zoo. In other words, elephants, lions, rhinos, etc.

With that in mind, I started wondering what a zoo in Africa would feature. Would North American animals seem 'exotic'? Deer, bears, wolves, jaguars, cougars, f**king squirrels, bison, moose, etc. They all seem kinda 'garden variety' here, but would these mundane 'woodland creatures' be exciting in Africa?

This is wholly unimportant and borderline idiotic, but it's bugging me. It just seems like a boring-ass zoo. I'm sure it wouldn't be if you live in a place where none of these animals exist.

All of this reminds me of a story Ryan Castle shared with me a few years ago. He and his wife were visiting the Woodland Zoo (in Seattle) and were standing in front of the lion enclosure.  A woman was there with her little kid when a bald eagle started digging through a trash can. The mother points this out to the kid and says, "Oh look!  There's a bald eagle!"  

Castle (being Castle), points at the cage in front of them and says, "and there's f**king LION right there!"

Good times.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!


And under 2 weeks until we devour bacon and wash it down with bourbon, bitches! Get YOUR tickets to #BourbonandBaconFest!