When Your Kid Says WHAT?!

February 7, 2018

Hola Bitcholas,

Let me start by saying that being a parent, being a father, while tedious, alarming, (exhausting and terrifying) is, ultimately, rewarding. You're always aware that you've done nothing so noble, important or selfless in your life before becoming a parent and that is the fuel that keeps you going.  

That said, sometimes there are moments where you really DON'T want to be the parent. Not for any reason other than some situations are just really f**king uncomfortable.

Case-in-point, this morning I'm walking the kids up to their school and the kids are babbling about their usual stuff (Legos, Pokemon, My Little Pony, Ninjago, etc) and my daughter says this: "Daddy, we masturbate."

My daughter is 7.

I stopped in my tracks, felt my blood run cold and really, really, REALLY wanted to disappear with a smoke bomb. This was NOT a conversation I wanted to have...but there I was. And really, WTF?!?!?

Asked my daughter, "what are the words that just came out of your mouth?"

She seemed a little worried, but very slowly repeated herself..."Daddy, we have mass today."

Relief. Triumph. A request to speak more clearly in the future.  

I'm outta here.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!