Wrap That Rascal?! Yes.

December 18, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

Today's show, like so many, kinda travelled everywhere and addressed a myriad of unimportant issues. Actually, that's not entirely true. Today we actually addressed safe sex.

Damn. That's not entirely true either. A CALLER addressed how he DIDN'T practice safe sex and got a woman pregnant. This inspired Miles to blurt out "wrap that rascal!" 

I thought that was dumbest f**king thing I'd ever heard. Who calls their d*ck a rascal? That was the question I asked over and over. Are you teaching safe sex to 4-year-olds?!? Wrap your f**king RASCAL?!?

Well, as it turns out, I may have overreacted a bit because comments started pouring in in support of Miles and his man-rascal. Apparently, 'wrap your rascal' IS a thing. It's stupid, but it's a thing.

That conversation led to plenty of ADDITIONAL suggestions for a 'safe sex' message. I'm about to share them:

"Don't be silly, wrap your willy"

Use a latex fleece to wrap your beast.

Rap the Beast before you feast?

 Put on a cover before you enter your lover.

Even if its not raining, you should always carry a raincoat.

Put a beenie on your weenie.

Bag it before you tag it!

Wrap it in latex or she's getting your paychecks.

Don't be a loaner, cover your boner.

Put a sock on the pickle.

No glove no love.

Don’t be a fool...wrap your tool.

Don't let that affection get you an infection put some protection on that erection.

 "Wrap that wacker before you pack her."

Please, feel free to use any of those kid-friendly slogans when talking to your kids about safe sex.

You're welcome!

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!