Zero F*cks Thanksgiving Weekend

You will not find fewer f*cks anywhere else

November 22, 2017

As Thanksgiving Weekend approaches, KISW reflects on all that we are thankful for. We will feast with family and friends, watch football and take tryptophan naps. And for 5 days in a row, we will give exactly zero f*cks about everything else. We promise you, dear Rockaholics, that you will not find fewer f*cks anywhere, or your money back!


For example…


Let’s take a tour, right past the pumpkin patch and the turkey coops. That’s where you’ll find our state of the art f*ck hatchery. Organic, you say? Free range? Cage free? Au contraire – there are no f*cks on this farm. No, not even a f*ck egg. Also known as a f*cklet.


Over here is the local Thanksgiving Day Parade! Any idea how many fucks are in attendance? NONE!


To your right are the TV screens showing all of the Thanksgiving Day football games. Normally there would be several f*cks in attendance, even more for the home team. This weekend, though, all the f*ckin’ f*cks are f*ckin’ f*ckless. Not a foul play f*ck, nor a fair play f*ck.

So, for f*cks sake, enjoy the time with your family, but do without the assistance of any f*cks. Like us, give zero f*cks about it all, meaning not even a trace of f*ck. Our customer service guarantee – you’ll have no regrets for all the f*cks you never gave or your f*ckin’ money back!


Happy Thanksgiving, Rockaholics. We are thankful for YOU.


- Your KISW Family